FMA: Tears of Regret
by A Shinigami's Game
Summary: The tragic tale of the beginning of the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric and his brother Alphonse. Please read&review, thank you. 3 Rated: T for profanity and violence.
1. Chapter 1

Hay! Thanks for reading my fanfiction, hope you enjoy!**  
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Story plot & characters by Hiromu Arakawa

**Disclaimer: All FMA characters, settings, and story plots belong to creator Hiromu Arakawa, and not me. By writing this, I do not claim any of the said as my own, and respect the copy-rights. However, some events were of my own making by my interpretation of what might have happened. The fanfiction is based on "Episode 3: Mother" of the original Fullmetal Alchemist anime series.

This is purely for entertainment purposes only, so please enjoy my lemondrops :)

**Edward sighed as his shiny metal fingers trailed along the spines of so many books, none of them the right one. "There aren't any more books here about the Philosopher's Stone! Just shoot me in the head will ya?"**

**"I can't believe that Cornello's stone was a fake," said Alphonse, looking about the shelves of books upon books. His helmet was beginning to ache. "Now we're out of leads again." He sighed and glanced down at his older brother in the pale light from the window down the aisle.**

**"Mustang's gonna scream my ears off," said Edward, more to himself then to Al, as he shut another dusty book and proceeded to browse the shelf. But a gasp from Al brought his attention from the spines of ****_'All About Alchemy'_****, ****_'Forever an Alchemist'_****, and yet another alchemy book printed at the state.**

**"Brother, look!" said Al, Edward could just hear the smile in his voice, as he pulled a dusty book from the shelf and held it up for him to see. It was brown with ALCHEMY in all caps across the top, a transmutation circle in the center. "****_Introduction to Alchemy,_****" Al read the title. Edward flinched a little. "Takes you back, doesn't it?" Al said with a small laugh.**

**"Ah, I guess," replied Edward as he reached his gloved hands to retrieve the familiar old book from Al's metal fingers. He stared at the cover in silence for a moment before opening it up to a random page, his honey-colored eyes trailing down the page until they reached an illustration of how to draw a transmutation circle. Oh boy, did this bring back some painful memories.**

_"See? This line goes here."_

_"Hey," whined Whinrey from the corner of the room, where I had instructed her to stay. Just a safety precaution. "I'm bored!"_

_"One more second, Whinrey," purred Al in that smooth, soft voice of his. His tone reminded me a lot of Mom._

_I trailed the chalk down the floorboards just a little more until it connected with the last line. "Alright! We're done!" I said, unable to hide my excitement and grinned. Me and Al loved to show off to Whinrey and Mom and anyone who would look and praise us. "What'd ya think, Whinrey?" I asked her as Al and I stood back to admire our work. The transmutation circle was just as it looked in the book we borrowed from Dad's study. Al now matched my grin with his own._

_"I think that's a lousy present." Gosh, she could be such a killjoy sometimes. But I laughed at her ignorance and pointed at the book lying open on the floor._

_"That's not the present! It's just the outline for one," I said as Al and I grabbed the ingredients from a bucket and walked over to the center of the circle. I couldn't help it but giggle as the sandy material slipped through my fingers and onto the floor. Al did the same with his handful._

_'Perfect! She's gonna be blown away!' I thought as I knelt at the edge of the carefully drawn circle and put my hands down on the chalk. Me and Al would do it together; we'd both blow her away. And she'd be so happy with her present that she'd hug us both and say we were her bestest friends ever!_

_Golden light flooded the room as the circle glowed like the sun, an invisible force whipping my blonde bangs around my head like I was in a windy canyon. Though my hands were hot on the chalk, the rest of my body had a cool feeling, like the feeling I got when I laid down on my sheets at the end of a cold winter day. I smiled, the excitement and adrenaline burned in my veins as the gray material in the middle of the circle began to take shape, twisting up and around like an Arabian snake being lured out of its clay pot by a mysterious tune. Then, at that moment, I would've given anything to have seen Whinrey's face as her doll formed out of a pile of gravel._

_But a scream of terror escaped her lips and I looked over to see her cringing into the wall like she'd just seen a monster. Her dog howled and barked in time with her sobs as she began to cry. Al and I watched in shock from our positions on the circle as she dropped to her knees, shaking and sobbing pitifully._

_The light from the circle finally died away as we stood up. "Whinrey!" We both ran over to her, leaving her present smiling at the wall from the floor._

_That was the first time we ever used Alchemy._

**Edward shook his head, frowning.**

**"What's wrong, brother? Are you okay?" said Al in a nervous tone. Edward looked up at him and put on as authentic of a smile as he could.**

**"Yeah! What're ya talkin' about? I'm fine!" Edward replied in a high pitched voice, the one he subconsciously adapted when he was lying but sort of did and didn't want anyone to ask what the matter was.**

**Alphonse stared at him for a long time, to the point that he squirmed under his piercing gaze, and then sighed.**

**"A-Alright, Ed. Whatever you say." Al then turned and clanked down the aisle as Edward returned his gaze back to the book in his hands.**

_Al and I sat sadly with our backs against the sun-baked bricks of the house, arms folded across our knees, Whinrey's tiny dog yipping at us. I felt so bad about making Whinrey cry, but I didn't understand why she'd gotten so frightened. All we wanted was to make her happy. I felt like a failure to Alchemy, but it was only our first time using it. Maybe I should have listened to Al in the first place and never stolen that book from Dad's office. But, it had felt so amazing when we were there at the edge of the transmutation circle, almost like I was flying. _

_I felt the corner of my mouth turn up slightly at the memory and then looked over at my pouting brother. It looked like he was thinking hard about something, so I decided not to disturb him with small talk._

_"B-Brother?" I heard him ask. _

_"Mmm?" I said with a small smile, glad that he wasn't too deep in his thoughts to talk, but usually I was the one to break the ice, so I listened intently to what he had to say. It must have been important. _

_"Do you think she's mad?" _

_"Heh, nah. I don't think she'd be mad. It might be awhile before she talks to us though," I replied smoothly with a laugh. But when I looked over at him, he didn't so much as smile._

_"I really… I really hope she isn't mad." He was still staring at the ground over his knees, pulling at a blade of grass._

_I opened mouth to reply, but before I could get out any words of reassurance, we heard the door open and close, followed by unmistakable, dainty footsteps. _

_Before Mom rounded the corner, Al and I stood, waiting anxiously for her approach._

_She didn't say anything to us as she stood there. For a long time she just stared with a smile on her porcelain face. Then, after a few more minutes of smiling and staring she held out two hands to both of us._

_"C'mon boys, let's take a walk."_


	2. Chapter 2

****Hello, and thank you for reading my story! Please review! (All faves are appreciated!)

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer ;)

**Edward hadn't had such a vivid, accurate memory of his mother like that in a long while. He sank down to sit with his back against the bookcase and the Alchemy book resting on his knees. A silent tear rolled down his cheek.**

**He didn't want the memory to end.**

**So, he let them all flow from the place he'd kept them pent up for so, so long.**

**"Let them come."**

_The sun! How brilliantly it shone over the valley! It amazed me completely. I loved the sunset. Mostly, though, because my mom loved the sunset too._

_"Okay, boys. No secrets," said my mom in her magical voice. The voice that always made losing okay, that always made a lullaby sweeter, that always made a cut heal faster. The 'Mom' voice. She smiled as she shut the Alchemy book she had in her hand. "When did your dad teach you Alchemy?"_

_I snickered; a flame of distant anger licking at my heart for a mere second, for it was hard to be mad at anyone with Mom around. _

_"Keh! How can we learn from somebody who's never here?" I said, folding my arms behind my head and puffing my chest out proudly as we walked down the foot-worn trail through the hills._

_"We learned it from this book," replied Al in his gentle voice, his hand clutching Mom's free one. _

_"You mean you really understand it on your own?" asked Mom in a slightly awed tone, making me smile in satisfaction. At least we'd wowed someone today._

_"Yeah, more or less," said Al and I at the same time. I lowered my hands to my sides and looked up at my mother, her brown hair glowing in the orange light of the sunset, her pale face illuminated against the cloud-dotted, purple sky._

_"So, are you upset with us?" I asked anxiously, clenching and unclenching my fists._

_"You mean for using Alchemy?" said Mom as she looked down at me with a loving smile that made my heart feel warm. Suddenly, my tense muscles relaxed. "No, Ed, I'm proud!" She laughed on the "no" making me feel a bit silly for asking that question, but I smiled in relief nonetheless as she looked back up at the sky. "I think I'll brag to everyone I know."_

_Al and I gasped a little and turned to look at each other, smiling and then laughing. It might've been silly and childish, but we loved Mom's approval and valued it above anyone else's._

**Edward sighed as he put one hand on the page with the transmutation circle to keep his place and then closed the book. He stared at it for a long time and then finally raised a finger to trace the word 'ALCHEMY' on the cover. It was identical to the one from his father's study. Exactly the same in looks, and even condition, but, somehow, it felt different in his hands. It felt like it had gained weight or something.**

_"Now be sure to put the books back where you found them."_

_"We will!" A unison answer from Al and I both as Mom opened the door to Dad's empty study. A draft of dusty, musty smelling air caught us as the door creaked open on its unoiled hinges._

_"And when your dad gets back make sure you thank him."_

_"Okay!"_

_"Alright!"_

_"And that door is off limits." Mom pointed across the room to a mysterious looking door beside the desk Dad used to sit at, but at the moment I didn't give it more than a passing thought. We could have a real adventure in there some other time, but right now, our main focus was the wall of Alchemy books. So much to learn!_

_"We hear you!" we yelled as we ran over to the bookcase and started to pull books off the shelves._

_"There they are!" squeaked Al in excitement, nearly tripping over his own feet. _

_"Get that one!" I pointed to a book above our heads and jumped to reach it._

_"Wait, you can't pull that one first!" _

_But Al's warning was too late, because as I pulled the book off the shelf, the whole case shuddered and tilted forward, like it didn't want to let go of that one book and dumped its whole load of reading material on top of me and Al._

_The books hurt. A lot. We were completely buried; I head first in the pile and Al halfway out and halfway in. We groaned in unison and Mom gave an exasperated sigh before laughing a little. _

_"Oh, what am I going to do with my little Alchemy boys?"_

**Edward pursed his lips. Maybe the weight of the book was just his imagination. He opened the book again to his saved page and gazed at the transmutation circle for awhile. How deceiving it was. How backstabbing. How… How… Edward couldn't think straight. Tears now steadily rolled down his cheeks. He squeezed his eyes shut against the glaring picture and slammed the book shut, his hands shaking as he chucked it at the opposing book case.**

**"Ed? Ed?" Al's worried voice drifted down the row before he did.**

**Edward buried his face in his hands and sobbed until his eyes hurt and his gloves were thoroughly soaked. He cried until a memory took over his mind.**


End file.
